Relationship and Religion: Why You Can't Have One Without The Other

I think one of the saddest and most dangerous heresies that is floating around Christianity today can be summed up in this one quote: “Christianity is about relationship, not religion.”  It sounds really good at first glance, because it does two things.  It focuses our faith on what is truly most important – our relationship with Jesus Christ – and it allows those who are uncomfortable with, or have burned by, organized religion to have some level of comfort.

I think that the above quote is contrary to the Christian faith because it goes against everything that scripture says about how we should practice our faith.  Relationship is about the relationship that we have with Jesus Christ, and religion is about how we live out that relationship with Christ in our worship lives and in our relationships with others in the Body of Christ.  In fact, a better way of saying it should be “Relationship and Religion: You can’t have one without the other.”  Let’s take a moment to reflect on what the church would like if we had one but not the other.

Relationship Only

I am reminded of a quote that I have heard quite recently from an Anglican 4^th Day weekend – “a solitary Christian is a paralyzed Christian.”  This quote sums up the concept that Christianity cannot be faithfully practiced outside of the Body of Christ, which is the Church.  There are several reasons why people avoid the church.  Many stay away because, at one point in their life, they have been burned by the Church.  This problem has become even more profound with the clergy sex abuse scandal.   Those who have been burned by organized religion need to heal and brought to reconciliation with the Church, not taught to avoid the church.  If we do that, we are denying the very healing that needs to take place and we are pretending that the hurt will go away if we avoid the issue.  The Body of Christ functions much better when all its members are together, rejoicing in the power of the Holy Spirit and using our gifts together in concert with each other.  If we separate the legs from the rest of the body, then the body cannot stand.  In short, we need religion to make the relationship manifest to the rest of the world.

Religion Only

I once was part of an Episcopal Church congregation that was often called by others in the community a “Country Club” church.  It had amazing music, a beautiful facility, and many of the elite in the community worshipped there.  What was sadly missing from the congregation was the teaching that a personal relationship with Jesus Christ was necessary.  The sermons were very vanilla, and were usually focused on making people feel good, rather than teaching a true saving and transformative relationship with Jesus.  Most people went to church in order to “fulfill their obligation” and be seen socially.  One guy, who was a young professional CPA, even told me that he came to church in order to build his business and develop new clients.  That parish ultimately went down the road of false teaching because they were not grounded in a true faith in Jesus Christ – one that stressed personal relationship.  Jesus said “if you love me, you will keep my commandments, and I will ask the Father, and he will send another Helper, even the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot see, because it neither sees him nor knows him.” (John 14:15-17, ESV)  If we do not have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, then we cannot truly love him.  And if we do not truly love him, we will not keep His commandments.  We will not receive the Holy Spirit, but instead will be among those in worldly darkness who do not know Him.  Growing in a relationship takes humbleness, courage, sacrifice and commitment.  I believe this a major reason why some in the mainline denominations of Christianity are so willing to follow false teaching – because they have not developed their relationships with Jesus with sacrifice and commitment.

What Does This All Mean?

We, as disciples of Jesus Christ, need to remember that, when it comes to religion and relationship, we cannot have one without the other.  If we are living in, or if our attitudes show an imbalance between religion and relationship, we have to develop in the areas in which we are lacking.

If we are focused too heavily on religion at the expense of relationship, we need to open our hearts more to Jesus and allow Him to touch us deeply in our hearts.  It is only then that we will truly experience the transforming, powerful, amazing love of Jesus Christ. 

If we are focused too heavily on relationship at the expense of religion, we need to explore more deeply what Jesus and Paul meant by stressing the importance of worshipping and participating in the body of Christ.  We need to stop living in fear of what might happen if we invited someone to church and instead focus not only on how to win someone to Christ, but also how to make them feel comfortable in church so that they can fully integrated into the Body of Christ.

Jesus intended relationship to be the foundation of our faith, a faith that should be practiced through religion.  We cannot have one without the other.